Useless Humor ;-)

Came across this "USELESS" comic on xkcd. Enjoy it!
:-)

Mathologue - 1

I'll start with a story. There is a legend related to Hanuman in Mahabharata. It is said that due to his mischiefs in his childhood, Hanuman was cursed by a saint that he would forget all his supernatural powers. As Hanuman was an incarnation of Lord Shiva and his existence on earth was for some purpose, this curse would have nullified the purpose. So, Shiva foretold that Hanuman's supernatural powers would reinstate at proper times when somebody reminds him of his powers.
In Ramayan, most of the times, Jamvanth reminded Hanuman of his powers and his capabilities.

The aforesaid analogy came to my mind when I was reading GEB. The author talks about Achilles and the Tortoise who are contemplating on the relations of Math and artistic elements of life. On the same lines, I want to write about the dialogues of Hanuman and Jamvanth. Jamvanth is an aged fellow who has done enough reseach in applied Mathematics. Hanuman is a young graduate from Surya University (as Hanuman studied under the SUN god). Hanuman comes out as an outstanding student who has done pathbreaking innovations in mathematical research. He talks about his research and his future plans in the conversation.

Hanuman meets Jamvanth for the first time. So it began...
[Please note that I want to make this a comic dialogue.]

Hanuman: Jai Shree Ram!
Jamvanth: Jai Shree Ram!
Hanuman: Hi, how are you?
Jamvanth: I am doing great, what about you?
Hanuman: I am fine too.

So the conversation started after a brief round of introduction.

Jamvanth: Hanuman, do you ever notice mathematics in nature?
Hanuman: Yes, I have noticed it.
Jamvanth: Give me an example.
Hanuman: Did you ever see the shell of a nautilus?
Jamvanth: Yup.
Hanuman: You know, the shell grows by a factor of golden ratio in one turn in the nautilus.
Jamvanth: That's incredible. But for your kind information, I studied that one during my childhood. ;o)
Hanuman: Hmm.. do you know, many plants show fibonacci series in the arrangement of leaves around the stem. Flowers like daisies and sunflowers also show the same. Isn't it fabulous?
Jamvanth: Yes it is. Yet again, you said something which I knew.
Hanuman: Argghh!! You asked me to give examples. Obviously, I would tell you the ones you already know. I am yet to do my research and create somethings based on Mathematics.
Jamvanth: Ok.. Ok.. But I expected somethings more out of you. Anyways, I know you'll learn with time.
Hanuman: Thanks. I should take a leave now. I'll explain my thesis some other time. Is it fine with you?
Jamvanth: Before you leave, a thought for you.
"Remember, the circle is the best example of symmetry."

Contd..

[Please note that I have taken the liberty of using the word Mathologue which is created by combining Math and dialogue. I don't know whether this word exists in the dictionary.]

A subtle comedy

I was chatting to a friend recently who reminded me of a comic incident that took place long time back during my childhood.
I was a very good student and came 1st in some class (I don't remember).
The teacher congratulated me, gave me the report card and said, "Well Done! Keep it up!"
I didn't understand back then what she meant. I started searching for a place to keep the report card.
The teacher asked, "What are you doing?"
I said, "I am searching for a place to keep the report card."
The whole class started laughing at my statement.
:D

Mathematics & Love

Once a Mathematics Professor went to propose a girl.

He said, "O my lady! Would you accept my -(1+sin(t))

and tie a Mobius knot with me for lifetime."

I plotted the graph at this site.

It's a rotated Cardioid.

5th 'P' of Management

The 4 P's of management are -

• People
• Process
• Product
• Project

What can be the 5th P?
Obviously,

PROCRASTINATION

lol
;-D

INSTALLING LOVE

This has been forwarded to me by Jeane Michelle Culp.
I really liked this one.
:)

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now. What do I do first?

Service: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see!! I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe and Resentment.com running right now.

Service: No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually overwrite Lowesteem.exe with a module of its own, called Highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge.exe and Resentment.com. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Service: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe and Resentment.com have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your Heart. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades. Customer: Oops!! I have an error message already. What should I do?

Service: What does the message say? Customer: It says "Error 412. Program not run on internal components." What does that mean?

Service: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love program is set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been running on your Heart. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means that you have to 'love' your own machine before it can 'love' others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service: Can you find the directory called 'Self-acceptance'?

Customer: Yes, I have it. Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Service: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the 'Myheart' directory: Forgiveself.doc, Selfesteem.txt, Realizeworth.txt and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Selfcriticize.exe from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files. Smile.mpg is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that Warmth.com, Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart! Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

Service: Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it with other people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Service: You're very welcome.